Josiah continues to be very animated and expressive, especially at home. He's pretty calm and passive when we take him out (thus our eye rolls when people comment, "he's so well behaved!"), but not when he's in the comfort of our home. He cracks up laughing when we make funny sounds or faces, or when he's just-plain delirious. He thinks it's amusing when we kiss him on the lips. He occasionally hums and babbles words that sorta sound like "umma" and "appa", or at least, so we believe. However, he quickly goes from happy to angry really fast, particularly if he wants to get picked up, if he gets annoyed at us trying to rub lotion of him, etc. He's been doing this high-pitched, heavy-metal scream lately, while his face turns into a shriveled-up prune. It's pretty scary and hilarious at the same time!
Josiah has moved onto stage 2 solids, but he really doesn't seem to enjoy it. Maybe it's the weird texture of the puree or spoon itself? I'm not sure how the nanny does it, but when we try to feed him, he acts like we're torturing him. To get him to eat, we have to shove a pacifier in his mouth to trick him into sucking the food down. It's such a production, so we get really lazy about it during weekends. Thankfully, our nanny is much more successful than we are so he gets his fill during the week. The downside, of course, is that he's been pooping up a storm lately...and it's not pretty! Who would've thought I'd miss newborn poo so much. How early can I start potty training??? :)
I'm also still nursing, which may not seem like a big deal to some, but it's a huge milestone for me. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I had a really hard time initially adjusting to the pain and frequency of breastfeeding (especially since Josiah was a difficult, aggressive eater), so I often considered transitioning to formula. However, with the encouragement of friends as well as my own personal goal to try to make it to 3 months, we somehow made it...to 7 months (and counting)! But I definitely do not blame anyone who has made a different choice...and certainly in mine, it was not without emotional and physical struggle! I have experienced the gamut with nursing - over-supply, under-supply, cuts, infections...you name it, it's been rough. But through it all, I finally am at a point where I actually *sort of* enjoy it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I finally understand why people say it's a unique bonding experience to have with your baby. I enjoy just watching him while he eats, noticing his funny habits (rubbing feet together, pinching my skin, grabbing my mouth, playing with the nursing pillow), and having a moment of calm with him in my arms. If nothing else, it's also a source of satisfaction to see how far we've come along together.
That said, I am now considering whether or not to start weaning soon, since work has gotten much tougher these days and I could really use a break! Nursing in the morning, pumping twice during the day, and then running home to nurse again has really compressed the actual hours I have to get anything done at work. And it's exhausting. I never thought I'd feel this way, but there are days that I long to be able to stay at work later so I can finish the growing pile of things on my plate. Even with all of these reasons, I am still hesitant to wean because I have gotten used to it (not to mention the allowance to eat anything I want!) and am not even sure how to fully stop. Last week, our nanny attempted to give Josiah some formula to see if he would take it, and he was fine. So the ball is in my court to go ahead with it, but I'm dragging my feet. I guess I'm also more attached to it than I thought.
Sleep (or lack thereof) has been another big theme of this month. The first half of January was awful - Josiah would wake up screaming at multiple times during the night. After being consoled, he would want to play and take forever to be put back down. We would resort to putting him in our bed, which meant none of us would get any decent rest. After suffering through terrible, sleep-deprived weeks, we were planning to try the "cry it out" method, but didn't get around to doing so. Perhaps it was a combination of our nanny training him to nap longer during the day, or us just letting him fuss a bit more on his own, he seemed to go down pretty well, and much earlier too (~8pm). We still have to go in every now and then to pat his back or pick him up briefly, but it hasn't been too bad. Plus, I learned that I didn't have to nurse him at night anymore (why didn't I know this?), so not feeding him at night has probably given him less incentive to wake up. Who knows? More sleep has also meant a happier baby in the morning. Seeing him grinning in his crib in the morning is one of my favorite parts of the day. But as everything has its upside and downside, we really can't go out that much anymore since he goes down earlier these days. Oh well, it's not like we were going out that often anyhow...and if this means more rest (at least for now, if he doesn't relapse!), it's so worth it. But here's the kicker - although I'm getting much more rest than I have in months, I'm still utterly tired everyday. What a sad revelation.
On brighter news, I'm glad it's February and Springtime is a bit closer. I'm ready for this bitter cold to be OVER! Next week, we venture on our first vacation with Josiah (and the Choes too!) to Orlando, so we are nervous and excited. Hope Josiah does well on the airplane. Josiah's stuff already takes up its own suitcase, so I'm afraid my stuff will have to be sacrificed. Yet another analogy for motherhood, huh? Wish us luck and good weather!
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