Season of Social Distancing - Week 1

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality.

Open your eyes. Look up to the skies and see...

I'm sure Queen was talking about something else, but for me it's a good summary of how I feel right now.

Last week was a blur. The only demarcation between days was the different clothes (sometimes) I wore and the food I ate. I am definitely a proponent of supporting local businesses AND keeping my belly happy during this time!

Attempt at structure!

So, we made it through our first week of stay-at-home work & school! Let's take a moment to celebrate that and learn from it before heading into week 2 of probably several more weeks (pray not months).

It wasn't terrible, but it was weird and mentally exhausting. Trying to bring structure to both my kids' days as well as mine was a major struggle. Despite that, I found myself in a constant state of distraction and worry, ranging from "I'm stunting my kids' learning" to "we are all going to get sick". In the end, this just made me more prone to obsessively search social media and to taking spontaneous naps to save me from myself.

Like any sort of change, the early days seem to be the toughest. I am certainly going through a denial and anger phase, which I hope will evolve to more productive emotions soon. To that end, I'm learning a lot from my kids and how they have not even skipped a beat through all this! I watch them in awe seeing how quickly they are embracing the simple pleasures of being at home, being around family, and exploring new activities together.

Wearing green for St. Patty's Day

They are even taking to their schoolwork with a positive attitude, feeling giddy about being part of "Principal Jane's school". And as much as it's been difficult for me to juggle and feel like I'm not utterly failing in every area, I couldn't get through any of it without the help of our nanny and mother-in-law. I recognize this may not be a luxury I can continue to keep for the long-term if this virus contagion worsens, but for now I completely recognize the gift it was to have their help especially during the first week!

As I head into Week 2, here is the mindset I am trying to embrace:

• Take it one day at a time and celebrate small steps forward. Week 2 will be better. I will work out more this week than last week. I will shop online less than I did last week, etc.
• Don't force acceptance, yet look for some good in the situation to maintain positive momentum. Acknowledge some of the upside - an extra hour of sleep each day, more time to cuddle and be with the kids, opportunity to finally use that elliptical, time for log-neglected organization projects, etc.
• Tackle new projects but don't go crazy. As much as I am tempted to fill this void with more busyness, I am sure this is God's way of also slowing us down.
• Actively seek and give support. The quickest way for me to get out of a funk is stop drowning in my own whine and finding new perspectives from others. If this social distancing thing has taught me anything is that we are social creatures and are better together.
• This is not a permanent state of being, and yet one that I can learn and grow tremendously from if I allow myself to.

Celebrating our 11th anniversary at home!

Here are words from our Sunday School song that the kids have been singing on repeat - how appropriate during times like this!

What have I to dread, what have I to fear

Leaning on the everlasting arms?

I have blessed peace with my Lord so near

Leaning on the everlasting arms

Leaning, leaning

Safe and secure from all alarms

Leaning, leaning

Leaning on the everlasting arms

Back in the saddle...

Testing, testing...is this still on?

It's been awhile since I've blogged...not sure if blogging is even a thing anymore? :)
What got me started doing this in the first place was a desire to reflect and make sense of a tough time in my life. Transitioning to motherhood was not easy. Somehow writing about it made it more manageable. Despite all the joys and laughter, it was (and continues to be) a learning curve everyday. I thought being an adult meant having things figured out, when in fact it's completely the opposite!

Fast forward to today...the kids are older and past the physically taxing years. Gone are the diapers and potty "accidents" (I hope), the multiple wakings at night, the endless baby gear to trudge around. But as people foreshadowed, it hasn't gotten any easier. If anything, the day-to-day juggle has become more complicated with the added layers of school and extracurricular activities on top of my career getting more demanding each year. It's all good stuff that I try to be grateful for each day, but I admit that's not my natural response. Instead, I've found myself lately in a constant state of worry, trying to keep all the plates spinning in the air at the same time. And as much as I've tried to remember that "success" as a mom, wife, friend, business partner, etc. is my own self-imposed construct, it's so hard to let these expectations go.

I recently hit a wall and realized that this way of living is not sustainable and certainly not enjoyable. What I've come to realize is that the solution seems to lie in both 1) taking more control of what I say "yes" and "no" to, and 2) surrendering more. The latter is a much deeper topic for another time!

SAYING YES TO NEW EXPERIENCES

To the first point...one step I've taken is to try to carve time for myself. I know this may sound obvious, but up until recently, this only meant Netflix binging and online shopping :)

Back in April, I was asked by my friends, Chloe and Alexa, to run a 10K race with them and some other sisters from church. While every fiber of my being said I shouldn't do it, I somehow said yes. I think it was a combination of their skillful persuasion skills (promising me a yummy meal afterwards was brilliant) and my restlessness to break out of my routine.

After signing up, I was both shocked and exhilarated...which was then followed by regret and anxiety. I hadn't run a mile since high school gym class and remembering loathing the experience. I hate physical activity and cannot deal with sweat. This was probably not the best fit for me!

And yet, on June 15 - I did it! It was NOT a glorious victory, but rather a physical and mental struggle to the end. Had Chloe not met me step for step, I'm not sure if I would've stayed the course to finish. But crossing that finish line felt amazing, made even sweeter by the encouragement of family and friends.

Here are 5 takeaways from my "couch to 10K" experience. My hope is that this may serve as encouragement for someone else as well as a personal reminder for the next time I find myself in a rut.

1. Don't overthink it, just say yes! Half the battle is signing up. After that, you'll figure it out.
2. Don't go it alone. Surround yourself with people who have the experience and confidence that you don't! Literally, run the race together. Plus, going through significant milestones together only brings you closer.
3. Come up with a plan that works for you. Ask people for advice and then make it your own. I tried running plan apps, podcasts, music playlists, etc...but in the end, none of it really worked for me. I started getting stressed that I wasn't doing it "right" so I had to shift my focus on simply making personal progress (and doing more than nothing was easy. Low bar!).
4. Get the gear. Maybe this is analogous to "fake it til you make it". In the same way, To get started, I needed good sneakers, clothes, headphones, etc. to believe that I could actually run.
5. Just finish. Put aside visions of grandeur and just run/walk/slog your way through it, if needed.

Finally, one that I'm still working on - don't go back on the couch. I'm not going to lie and say that I love running now. And no promises on ever doing another 10K. BUT, I will say yes to another 5K and pushing myself in other ways where I've gone stagnant! I have a few ideas cooking in my head for new creative ventures and experiences. This is all a new head space for me and it's exciting!

Here's a pic of our running crew. Love you all!

It's 2017 (just fashionably late)!

#bestnine2016

Happy belated new year! That's a thing, right? :) I started writing this as a look-back to 2016 in early January...and then the weeks just kept passing by and I couldn't muster the energy until now. That's been the tone of this year so far...nonstop busyness and always feeling late and scatterbrained with everything. But if I've committed to anything, it's to try to be less rigid, shed the daily guilt of not being as "productive" as I'd like, and to just chill more (not to be confused with watching more Netflix). So hold me to it!

2016 was an eventful year and I am relieved we got through it in one piece! Looking back, I am proud of how it was spent despite how haphazard it often felt at the time - lots of memories with the family, meaningful moments with friends, and new challenges taken on at work. And when I consider the full year and all the change we went through (new home, my new job, new school for the kids...and me back at the wheel!), I am thankful for God's grace and provision that always came at the right time.

2017 has already started with a bang. It's been COLD. The kids got back-to-back stomach bugs. There's been lots of change at my company (although, it may mean actually more opportunity on my team). And I've been getting more involved in church leadership. I'll be honest, my main worry is that I will break from the day-to-day pressures, but I'm trying to pray more specifically (for energy, capacity, help) and also just trying not to think about it. We'll see which strategy works!

Josiah's Taekwondo & Sammy's "Tiana" ballet

We squeezed in a family vacay in January to the Nickelodeon resort in Punta Cana. I'm always a basket case during the days leading up to vacation, but the perfect weather, unlimited food and drinks, and glee on our kids' faces made it all worth it. Josiah's highlight was dancing with the Ninja Turtles!

The kiddos are at an age now where they love playing together (while fighting over everything as well). They constantly battle over who will be first...whether it be the first to come down the stairs, the first to get a drink, the first to check the mail, even the first to pray! Josiah can outwit Samantha intellectually, but she makes up any gap with confidence and sheer force! We signed them up for new activities this year, which actually ended up being such a great thing for them to have their own thing to feel proud about. Watching Josiah brimming with pride while he's doing Taekwondo is so gratifying. And seeing Sammy twirl in front of the mirror with her tutu is so cute...yet cringe-worthy because her princess girly phase is in full force now!

Josiah - 4 1/2 years old

Our big boy is growing up too fast...but continues to be the sweetest soul! He still asks for hugs, loves to sit on our laps, and spontaneously expresses his love to us. And for the past few months, he's come to our bed every night. We don't have the heart or energy to send him back...and secretly I love it.

He's a sensitive boy, but very even-tempered and generally happy. He's slow to react to things, thinks a lot, hesitates when making a decision, and likes everyone and everything (at least at the outset). Basically, he's me. But he is way more imaginative than me! He makes the funniest observations ("why is it so dark? are the sun and moon taking turns?") and loves recounting stories ("wuhmember..").  He uses big words (chameleon, frustrated, hy-pop-esis), pushes back on us ("um, can you please don't do that right now?" or "you need to trust Daddy"), and is starting to tell me things that he's learning at school. The lesson about MLK Jr. was so surprising and sweet ("they weren't allowed to go to the good school with ice cream and parties...is that fair???").

The biggest change I see in him these days is his focus on friends. He used to just play with anyone who was around, grown-ups included, but now he has a consistent crew of friends at school. He really does get along with everyone, but he cares more about being accepted by these few friends that he mentions regularly. They are so sweet together and I only hope he makes friends like these in Kindergarten when he has to start all over in the Fall! I sometimes worry about him keeping up physically since he appears to be the shortest in the class and not as adventurous as his peers. But nobody is sweeter and sillier than him, so I shouldn't worry.  I love this boy!!!

Samantha - 2 3/4 years old
Sammy is our little spitfire. She is decisive, makes her opinions known, and whines a LOT because nobody seems to do things the way she wants it. Our poor Amazon Echo gets a lot of attitude from her. Every morning she yells "Alexa, what's da weather!" or "Alexa, I not talking you!"

But when not yelling or stomping around with a scowl, she's actually quite sweet, silly, and playful. She likes to tease and say funny things, even if what she says makes no sense. But we know better than to correct her! At the heart of her assertiveness, she's actually super sensitive. She gets really upset when we scold her and will start screaming "stoppppp" at the top of her lungs whenever any voices are raised even slightly. She's also a big scaredy cat and freaks out at the sight of animals and any life-sized character (Ninja Turtle sighting did not go well).

Sammy plays the victim a LOT. But it's hard to tell if she's manipulating us, or if she really does believe it. Whenever she and Josiah get in a scuffle, she will immediately say things like "he's hurting me!" even if he didn't even touch her. And whenever she starts to get in trouble, she'll deflect and say things like "ouch, my leg hurts! I need a bandage!" And her favorite phrase these days for every situation is "it's NOT fair!" Classic. She even knows how to deflect. When I catch her doing something she shouldn't, she'll say, "I just pretending" or "Meow. I just a cat".  She's either crazy or brilliant.

Sammy is quite girly and loves her dolls (one is named after her new baby cousin!), playing dress up, and stares at me when I put on makeup (then again, Josiah also wants "boy makeup"). When she sees something pretty, she gasps and says "it's so beautiful!" She's still really into Elena of Avalor, and all the Disney princesses for that matter, so we plan on going to Cinderella's Royal Table in Disneyworld this Spring. So it begins...

The biggest milestone this month is that she's nearly potty trained! And we didn't even do it ourselves! Her teachers insisted on trying at school, despite our efforts to delay the struggle as long as we could (like Josiah, who started at 3.5). She had many accidents at school...but after a few days, she was accident-free and proudly said she didn't want diapers anymore. Unfortunately, that only applies to #1...so we are not out of the woods yet. But she knows she did good, and demands all the rewards that she believes she deserves! As she reminds us daily, "sharing is caring!"

Another season

Is summer really over?!? I started writing this blog post weeks ago, but never got to finishing it until now. I always get depressed around this time of year, even though it's not like any of us are "back to school" ourselves. It's just the thought of weather getting cooler, allergies kicking in, traffic getting worse, and people at work getting more serious that makes me gloomy. Sorry to be so pessimistic...but it's decades of hard-wiring to change! 

I feel satisfied in knowing that we really did try to do everything we possibly could this summer. We went to Vegas, Delaware, Sesame Place, and the Jersey shore...had our share of BBQs and get-togethers...and I even got to go on a sister excursion to Nashville (hot chicken and honky tonk!)...all while transitioning into my new job. The new job has made this summer more stressful than usual, but also energizing to be doing something brand new. I have yo-yo feelings on a daily basis....inspired, curious, encouraged...confused, insecure, uncomfortable, etc. I know these are all normal feelings for the first few months, so just trying to enjoy the ride :)

Back to the kids...this is a really fun stage. It's nice to be out of the baby stuff (although a wee sad that I won't experience that again...you heard that right, no #3) and to have two mini-people who can communicate pretty well, do/eat the things we do, enjoy each other's company, and find curiosity/joy in basically anything. It's still exhausting daily to keep up with their routines, demands (especially Sammy's irrational ones), and messes, but it's generally a sweet time. Just this month, Sammy moved up to the 2 1/2 year class in school recently, which means she now she gets to join Josiah for after-care. Picking them up is so cute because we get to see them laughing and playing together.  Sammy is always shouting "Joo-siyah" at the top of her lungs and getting in his space. As much as they are frenemies, their relationship is one that we are so thankful for....and hope grows stronger over time.

Sammy is speaking so much more now (even though it's broken toddler-speak) and it's amazing how much she's progressed just this summer.  And Josiah is like a little man and has so many new thoughts, ideas, and expressions on a daily basis.  He's been much more focused and able to hold two-way conversations than before, so it's fun to hear about his day, his friends, and what they taught him about Darth Vader, Hulk Smash, and defeating bad guys. There's this one guy who apparently says "poop and fart" and is therefore not nice. Funny how peer dynamics start so early.  

SAMANTHA - 2 years, 5 months

Sammy is a clever, silly, and independent girl...and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm actually jealous. We joke that she's more "street smart" than "book smart"...but perhaps it's just because we've totally neglected teaching her the basics (true to her 2nd child status). She tends to want to do her own thing anyway...she's often just sneaking off and exploring things on her own. She expresses her wants very clearly and likes to openly defy us. But as much as she loves to do things on her own, she still has sudden moments of clingyness too. She can be super whiny these days and will demand for us to hold her ("hold you!"). You never know which mood you'll get with her, so we are always walking on eggshells!

Too many individual stories to share. Here are some highlights:

• Favorite TV show: Elena of Avalor (she pronounces it perfectly too), PJ Masks
• Favorite toys: her baby doll (who always seems to be crying, Cookie Monster, whatever Josiah is playing with
• Favorite books: "I wish you more", Anything Frozen related 
• Other loves: singing loudly in the car to 'Lion Guard" or "Veggie Tales", her pink ballet slippers, eating "kimpow" (seaweed), bathtime, iPhone
• Words/phrases: "me first", "are there yet?", "I going home", "c'mon", "gricious" (delicious), "wow, that's amazing", "my hurt...bug bite me", "hey, what's dat sound?", "I do by self", "no, stop. I sing", "can I help you?" (which means "can you help me?"), "because...", "POOPY" (when she feels it coming)
• New tricks: Likes to change her voice to high and low pitches (almost to a growl), knows the days of the week/month, knows all her classmates' names
• Characteristics/Quirks: pigtails (her hair is so long...still never cut!), brushes her hair behind her ear, still sucks her fingers (not as much as before though), always insists on using the potty, but then asks to get off right away

JOSIAH - 4 years, 2 months

Josiah is inquisitive, talkative, and  loves to express his love openly. He often tells us that he loves us, says I have a beautiful heart, and will enthusiastically say things like "this is the best restaurant EVER" or "that's a GREAT idea" when he's a fan.  However, on the other side of the coin, he will sulk and hide behind the couch, burst into tears, and say things like "I'm going to leave forever" when he's upset. He is very sensitive, both physically (can't stand to be hot) and emotionally.  The hardest thing is trying to punish him...we end up consoling his hysterics and affirming him with lots of hugs. I hope he's not playing us...

He's also expressing more independence...wakes up and goes to the bathroom in the morning at times, resists sitting on his booster chair, and wants to brush his own teeth (hooray Dr. Wendy)!

• Favorite TV show: PJ Masks, Goldie and Bear, Tigger and Pooh.  We are still very much a Disney Junior family, but trying to slowly transition to Nick Jr. for work loyalty!
• Favorite toys: MINIONS (except purple ones), magnetiles and legos...always seems to be making a cake or a house for his characters
• Favorite books: "Don't let the pigeon..." series, "Green Eggs and Ham", "Finding Dory" (only because Sammy wants it too) reading about Josiah in the Bible
• Other loves: Play-doh YouTube videos, telling/hearing stories, pretending to be dogs or birds together, helping Daddy cook, eating strawberries, climbing onto our bed
• Words/phrases: "when I'm 17...", "you need to pologize to me", "you squishy girl" (to Samantha), "one fateful day", "the blustering wind", "I'm busy", 
• New tricks: More open to trying things (says he wants to try ice skating)
• Characteristics/Quirks: speaks in third person, memorizes lyrics to songs well, gets easily scared, likes to goof off and make up silly words ("pah pah") and noises, continues to be very particular about things being in their place (is always stuffing bags and boxes with his stuff)

Onward to Fall.  It's going to be a busy season and we've recently (reluctantly) enrolled the kids in swimming lessons since A) we feel guilty about not having activities and B) it's just a good skill to learn early.  But now, the start of extracurricular activities, aka soccer mom/dad life has begun!

Change leads to...change

It's been 5 months in our new place and it's finally feeling like home. Sure, we still drive by our old place and lament all the conveniences we've given up...but like everyone told me, the suburban thing is cool too. I've even gotten much more used to driving around in my minivan. I wouldn't say I'm comfortable, but it's not as much as a stressor as it was before. Dare I say I'm growing up?

And even though I don't typically welcome change, I guess all these big changes at once have gotten me more open to it...so much so that I've decided to shake things up and take a new job back in the city! It was a really difficult decision since my previous gig was great, but ultimately felt like I needed to grab a hold of this chance to do something different. It may be crazy to be take on more things right now, but I'm doing it...ready or not.  This doesn't feel like me at all, but I'm riding the wave (we will see if my tune changes once the commute starts wearing on me)! I just finished my first week and so far, so good.  It's refreshing to have a new start...and in a weird way, it actually makes me feel like I'm in my 20s again!  My main fear/concern is that this new job will compromise my home responsibilities and energy with the kids, so I'll be actively monitoring that and will try my very hardest. It's all about finding that workable balance, right?

Speaking of change, the kids seem to go through it daily. I've been so bad about updating this blog, but time is even more of a rarity than before. Here's a rambling list of updates:

Josiah - 3 years, 11.5 months
My big boy is getting so mature!. He's completely potty trained - even at night - but that doesn't mean I don't wake up nervously every morning and shake him out of his slumber to run to the bathroom. And of course, there are those not-so-great surprises in the morning too.  Even though I've somehow earned the family role of Potty Whisperer, I would lie if I said I am not obsessed with it. I think "potty" is my most commonly used word in the house :(

More than physically, he's really grown up so much behaviorally. We recently took a family trip to Vegas and he was so well behaved on the plane, watching his movies, coloring, and socializing with people around him. He has so many new thoughts and factoids in his brain too. He was rattling off fish names at the aquarium, often correcting me (hammerhead, lion fish).  And saying grown up things like "my pleasure", "that will ruin my appetite", and "Daddy, you need to be more careful when you drive!". He observes and remembers everything too, so we can't just slip things by him anymore. He asks a lot of questions and often references things that happened ("Mommy 'member...?")

Josiah is proud of being the big brother and takes joy in teaching Samantha things, like using the potty, and chiding her when she screams or changes her mind too many times ("Pocoyo or Mickey Mouse? You can't keep changing!"). They definitely squabble (Samantha fights dirty), but I love when they play together. Josiah initiates games like hide and seek and Samantha loves tagging along. They watch the same shows (Mickey Mouse, Lion Guard, PJ Masks) and dance to the songs together. And it's so cute when they chit chat..."what is it?", "follow me, ahwight?"
Josiah is also a bit easier to reason with these days, and is more open to trying things if we explain them. He's now going on slides in the playground and eating more veggies ("slimy, yet satisfying"). He often talks about being brave and asking us to not let bad guys come, including purple minions. He has started to gravitate more to Daddy (*tear) and wants to be a doctor like him, cook with him, be strong like him, etc. Luckily, Samantha's been more cuddly with me these days, so I'm not too sad.

Josiah turns 4 next week! He really wants a minion party and to watch "Finding Dory" in the theater...with popcorn! We are also bringing pizza and cupcakes to school, which I'm so excited about since his school buddies are so sweet. During school pickup everyday, he asks aloud "who wants to give me a hug?" and these kiddos run over to him.

Josiah's prayers always crack me up. They are very indicative of his mindset.  After thanking God for our family, he adds, "thank you for giving everything we want, and everything we eat, and wake up to a new morning and have another day off. And don't let the bad guys come. Amen."

Samantha - 2 years, 2 months

Oh Sammy, our adorable and moody teenager. Unlike Josiah who wakes up chipper, we always give Samantha extra time to lay in bed...or risk her wrath. When she's happy, she's belting out songs, running around, or giggling up a storm. When she's unhappy, stay away! She will put on a hissy fit, compete with hands on her hips, screams, objects thrown, etc. She even fights dirty with Josiah and will jab him in the face and scream "SIYAH". We even heard her growl back recently, "walk away!" Where did she learn that? We are trying all kinds of tactics to reduce these tantrums and outbursts, but she is smart and stubborn. She even tells other babies at school/church "no screaming, no hitting..."  The only way to pacify her is to let her suck her fingers (which we are still trying to wean) or giving her "telephone" and letting her surf around my apps and look at photos.  She actually navigates the iPhone remarkably well, even more intuitively than Josiah does!

Samantha's verbal skills are rapidly expanding, yet her voice is still very chipmunk-like.  Even her name has evolved from "Peeta Lee" to "Mantha Lee". She thinks everyone is a Lee.  She sputters out phrases that are starting to make sense. She answers questions with "uh, yes". Her most commonly used phrases are, "hold me hellllp", "let me down", "go outside", "who dis?" (pointing at objects in books), "my turn", "sure!", "amazing", "yum, me like it. taste good!", "oh no, how we do?" (with hands on her cheeks). And when she figures something out, like a puzzle, she taps her finger again her chin and then puts it in the air and says, "hmm. that's it!".

She also sings a LOT of "Let if go" these days, complete with the hand motions and hair flips that she must have gotten from the YouTube video, since she actually has not watched he movie many times.  The funny thing is that she is actually not a great singer (different than Josiah who is pretty tonal, even from an early age), but she has confidence for days! And if I try to sing along, she assertively puts her hand out and yells "stop!"

Sammy is definitely the independent one, not seeking as much permission nor approval as Josiah.  But she is a master whiner which drives us crazy.  She even still cries during daycare drop off - even though she's been in the groove for 5 months! But a minute after I leave, she's totally fine. She also knows how to manipulate, and will rattle off her list of requests when she whines..."telephone....chocolate...oreo cookie..."  I think it''s all part of her master plan.

And now Samantha's prayer (with eyes scrunched so tight): "Dee God, thank you day. Mommy, Siyah, Ehbody, Amen"

Goodbye Winter

These two months have gone by with the blink of an eye...and yet, they've been some of the longest and hardest months ever! That's what people say about parenting in general, so perhaps I should get over it. But REALLY, in the span of these past two months...we closed on a house, moved out of our apartment (and convenient lifestyle), moved into a new town in true suburbia, leased a minivan, said goodbye to our beloved nanny (thankfully we still have her over at times), enrolled the kids in a new school (Sammy's first time), and adjusted to my new office in NJ (= losing my city life). And while these were largely positive changes for our family, there's only so much change I can handle at once! Luckily, we've had lots of help from family. And the kids have shown their resilience and have proven that sometimes all you need are boxes, staircases, and TV to have a good time.

Josiah (3 years, 8.5 months) loves our new, blue house and has been thriving at his new school. We thought it would take some adjustment to the new surroundings, but he has immediately taken to it and is enjoying his new teachers and friends. On his first day, he was already hugging his new friend, William, and telling him about our family. Although I get anxious doing drop-offs in the morning, it's fun to be able to see him in action and actually hear about some of the things he's learning. He still doesn't share much with us, but every now and then he'll mention a story, craft, or yoga pose (!) that he learned. Next month, we're going to enroll him in a soccer program through his school, so we'll see how he does with that!

Josiah's stories have become even more dramatic these days, with his big arm gestures and funny explanations. He's been weaving in a lot of minions or characters from the Lion Guard into his stories, appointing each of us a role ("Daddy's the strongest, and I'm the keenest of sight!") and telling tales of escaping hyenas, jackals, and vultures. His favorite game is saying "you be ___" and "I be ___" and acting out characters. Good thing my brother gave me lots of training into this when I was a kid, so it flows naturally for me! He continues to crack us up with his daily exchanges, including challenging a waiter about items on the menu ("My mommy said you don't have spaghetti" or "you didn't give me bread"), telling Samantha's teacher to "take care of her", telling Daddy "you need to be more careful" while driving, randomly mentioning that "womens love me", and reminding me daily "don't hit boys with your car" (I swear this did not happen. But scary story for another time).

Josiah continues to be very affectionate, constantly asking for hugs and saying things like "I want you to LOVE me" or "you're the best girl EVER"! He's also been more assertive about his friendships, recalling their names and saying that they are his "best friends in whole wide world". He even told me that he needs a girlfriend and that he will marry Lana, because I told him he couldn't marry his sister! He's also been telling me that he has 3 brothers, after some recent interactions with older boys that were really good to him. Overall, he loves to express his feelings and love for others! Despite his sensitive side, he's also picked up more macho things too like putting his arms/muscles up and saying "I'm super strong" or running around yelling "super speed"!

He's still very particular and will get really upset if things don't happen the way he wants. For example, he wants the TV to be off until he comes to the room, he wants his stuffed animals arranged a certain way on the bed, he wants his bath toys all out in the water before he goes in, and he wants to always answer the door when guests arrive. Probably nothing too unusual for his age, but still super annoying deal with!

Good news - potty training has fully settled in and there is less stress for all of us in that department. For anyone embarking on this journey, note that it took us a good 3 weeks to get into a rhythm with little screaming and accidents. We still use night diapers, but rarely tote the portable potty around with us during the day. So I'm finally enjoying that phase being over! Next phase is getting him to wash his hands.  He'll go to great lengths to avoid washing his hands, like having us lift the toilet seat for him, wrap his hands in his shirt as he's peeing, etc. just to prove that they are not dirty.

Samantha (23 months) had a hard time transitioning to school. In fact, we saw a pretty dramatic change in her in the first few weeks, which I attribute to her first experience being "abandoned" by us. She was extremely clingy, mopey, and anxious for the first few weeks, which we felt terrible about. But with each week, she's getting a bit better...and is apparently fine once we leave the school premises. She cries a lot when we pick her up too, apparently because she's seen other parents pick up their children already. She gets held a LOT at school, which is my way of feeling like I'm getting my money's worth!

Not sure if this is at all related, but Samantha has become very demanding and has mastered the tantrum. I don't remember Josiah being this bad at her age. She's very clear about what she wants, from "donus" (donuts), "Elsa Anna" (anything princess), "cheers" (cheerios) or "read a book". If anyone takes something away from her, she screams, puts her hands her hips, hits the table, hit us, throws the object, and may even bite us or herself. It's a big production that she does with a hard face...but then suddenly breaks into tears if we don't relent. And she refuses to say sorry until the bitter end...but flashes a secret smile at the end of all of it. She and Josiah are always squabbling, but she generally wins just out of sheer persistence and volume.

Samantha's verbal skills have been improving and is able to cobble more sentences together, but mostly things like "me first", "gimme too", "food falling down", "Mommy gup" (Mommy, wake up), "Daddy honey"...and her favorite these days, "Siya funny!". In fact, half of her sentences are about her brother "Siya" - it's even the first thing she'll say in the morning. Like any 2nd child, she picks up a lot of random things from her brother too - I even caught her saying "dos, tres, quarto" today. Her verbal skills are not as advanced as Josiah's were at her age, but she's more physically coordinated.  I've been impressed at how well she's been picking up food with her fork at mealtime (with her left hand).

Remember those days when Samantha was the EASIEST sleeper? We used to just throw her in the crib, turn on the sound machine, and close the door. Suddenly, she's decided to be difficult...but I guess I can't really complain. She now cries bloody murder when we put her in the crib...so she's been bunking with us the last few days. We're now trying to convert her to her own bed, which has been a little better, but it's meant a much longer night process.  I'm so sad about that since I had hoped to keep Sammy confined to her crib to at least 3 years old. Oh well - kids win again!

Tales of Potty Training

So you think you want to potty train? Here's my account of what first started as a 3 day program, and has become a nearly 3 week (and counting) experience...

How it began:
We were dragging our feet for awhile since we admittedly loved the convenience that diapers gave us. Cost and stink aside, we had a routine and minimal disruption to our lives. But then, the fear of delaying Josiah's development and guilt of being negligent parents set in...so we decided to start off the year with the 3-day "wet weekend" that people have sworn to. Josiah just turned 3 1/2 so it felt like the right time. Finally, we were a month from moving and wanted to tackle this before we had a new house to soil!

As instructed, we stayed indoors for 3 days straight, didn't make any plans, and turned off the TV (well, except for a cheat hour here and there). We made some other adaptations to the "rules" like keeping our phones on and not having Josiah go fully bottomless. Instead, we bought Gerber training diapers to have a bit of modesty in the process, especially with Samantha around!

We started the first day off with a "bye bye" diaper announcement and showed Josiah stickers and M&Ms he would get if he had a successful trip to the potty. We had a pile of books to read and tried to feign our excitement over the whole ordeal. We had juice flowing to keep Josiah's bladder going.

Daily Notes:


Day 1 (Jan 1) was hard because it was a sudden adjustment for everyone. Without the TV humming in the background, we had to make up new activities to keep us busy. The kids loved that. Right from the start, Josiah had a number of accidents and we were all dejected. We obsessed over asking "do you have to go?" like every few minutes, which made us all crazy. To be safe, we laid "chucks pads" around the house, which Josiah sat on nearly all day for security. He looked like a sad, punished doggy. And he seemed reluctant to stand up, for fear of having to go to the bathroom. The day ended with disappointment and lots of laundry. And as ambitious as we were about going cold turkey, the diaper went on at night.

Day 2 (Jan 2) - major improvement! Something seemed to click and Josiah only had one accident in the evening. We gave lots of praise and positive reinforcement and we all felt like champs. We thought perhaps this 3 day system really worked? And Josiah seemed to love going to the potty and having tons of books read to him, even if he sat there forever at a time. During our down time, we had lots of fun and even had a dance party with the minions...look at what you can do when the TV is off!

Day 3 (Jan 3) - by this point, we felt exhausted and dirty, since we didn't dare leave the other with the two kids alone, not even to shower. It felt like the early newborn days again! Unfortunately, this was the day of regression. Right from the morning, Josiah had an accident and it kept happening. He just couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, which led to lots of screams and "it's ok!" half-smiles. Part of it was that we stopped being as vigilant and couldn't help but turn the TV back on at times. And he started abusing potty time to just read, so we had to move out the books. Finally - there was a big celebration over his #2 in the toilet...we were losing our minds!  But other than that, we felt cheated by this 3-day method and bothered that Josiah didn't "get" it like other kids. And then we felt guilty that we were putting so much importance into it. He even said something like "I'm a bad boy because I have accident." So we were resigned to go back to diapers and try again later.

Day 4-8 (Jan 4-8) - we woke up thrilled that the weekend was over and we could escape to work! We were tempted to give up, but our nanny Maria decide to keep at it and do it her way! We were happy to relinquish control! She's way more risk-taking so just put on his underpants and went out. However, this meant a quick return home, run to the potty, and pee all over the floor. So, even she was dejected.  However, she kept it at it all week...what a courageous woman! However, this meant running the laundry every day.

Day 9 (Jan 9) - we had a Eureka moment this day and moved the portable potty right to the living room! Sure, it made it too easy, but we felt that Josiah needed a win. And once he had a couple successful moments, he had a change in swagger. Another brilliant idea was buying minion underpants and telling him not to get them wet. This seemed to click for him, although I don't think he realized that HE was the one making them wet. Lastly, we brought out lots of lollipops and put them on display so he could envision his possible rewards. Problem was keeping them away from Samantha, who continued to enjoy this whole process immensely :)

Day 10 (Jan 10) - first day really going out of the house, so we were anxious all day at church. We brought a portable 'potette' to church and basically just forced him on the potty all day and isolated ourselves to the side room. Good news was that he had no accidents there! Of course, he had accidents when he got home since we got lax again. At this point, he started acting up and getting goofy in order to cheer us up. That got me sad that he could feel our disappointment. And then #2 happened in the potty and we went absolutely buck wild. In celebration, he exclaimed, "I'm proud of you because you and Daddy go poo like me!" Huh?

Week 2 - fast forward and we have now graduated to Josiah standing up to pee!  This was actually an easier transition than we thought, but it was brought upon unintentionally. Basically, Maria found out the potty was leaking and had to desperately whisk Josiah to the adult toilet. It's since been SO much easier for him to go on his own. I think him being able to watch himself pee made him make the connection with his body and also gave him a sense of independence. He still rarely goes to the potty without us asking him numerous times, but we've found the key is to ask him every 45-60 minutes, turn off the TV, and bring him there before we leave the house and once we get to our destination. This structure has made it less stressful for all of us, and the accidents have been minimal. We even survived Chuck E Cheese and the shopping mall with this new routine.  We've tried to limit the screaming (from all of us) as we desperately run to the potty and try to make this as calm as a ritual as possible. Another tip we received (thank you Anna) was to watch Daniel Tiger's potty episode. Josiah loves chanting the song, "When you have to go potty STOP and be on your way..."

It still hasn't "clicked" but I think we are on the road, albeit a long one!  So, not quite the success story we were hoping for, but a good reminder to CHILL OUT, not force these developmental milestones, and not to put too much stock into these things happening a certain way.  It's also a reminder that behavioral change takes so much effort, so not to get too taken by quick "fixes". And finally, as stressful as this experience has been, this is nothing in the scheme of things! Why do these lessons keep coming up in my life?