This too shall pass...

Apparently, things don't always go the way we plan.  For the control-freak in me, this is hard for me to accept.  But as a new mother, I better get used to this reality soon!

So...my return to work this week was thwarted by a nasty skin reaction that I got this weekend.  It initially looked like spots of acne but gradually morphed into a full-blown rash on my entire face, neck, and spots on my arms and stomach.  I look completely deformed due to the swelling and redness and can't imagine looking normal again.  Even with the aggressive course of medicine I've been taking, I have not seen any marked improvement over the past few days.  I don't even know where this all came from - something I ate?  Allergic reaction to the antibiotics I took?  Lowered immunity post-pregnancy? Stress?  I feel so helpless and am trying not to despair...but it's hard!  With all the changes and physical ailments I've experienced during these past 3 months, I wonder how much more I can take?  This is such a test of my faith...God is good, God loves me, God is with me, God's plans are better than mine...but despite these truths, I still find myself on the brink of falling apart.  I have to constantly remind myself that this too shall pass...

As I try to see the bright side of things, here are some things I can be thankful for:

• Josiah is in good hands.  Our new nanny started this week and has been caring for him as her own.  I had originally planned to be very hands-on with her this week and to micro-manage her ever move...but due to my health condition, I've had to simply trust her and let her do her thing.  I miss Josiah, but am happy to see him having fun with the nanny.
• More rest.  All I can really do is sleep since I'm too uncomfortable to do anything else.  With the sleep deficit I've amassed over these past few months, this is a welcome gift and something I did not expect before making my transition back to work.  Trying to see this as an unexpected staycation.
• Perspective.  I've been stressing about so many things as I prepared for my return to work.  Now, all I want is my health back.  All of the other things I've been worrying about seem so trivial in comparison.
• Understanding co-workers.  I'm sure it's a pain for me to be prolonging my leave of absence, but my co-workers have been nothing but understanding.  And although the timing sucks, at least this happened before going back to work, versus happening right afterwards.  I don't really have anything officially assigned to me right now, so I won't feel like I'm missing any major deadlines.

I hope to have a positive update the next time I blog.  Writing this all down already makes me feel a bit better :)