So you think you want to potty train? Here's my account of what first started as a 3 day program, and has become a nearly 3 week (and counting) experience...
How it began:
We were dragging our feet for awhile since we admittedly loved the convenience that diapers gave us. Cost and stink aside, we had a routine and minimal disruption to our lives. But then, the fear of delaying Josiah's development and guilt of being negligent parents set in...so we decided to start off the year with the 3-day "wet weekend" that people have sworn to. Josiah just turned 3 1/2 so it felt like the right time. Finally, we were a month from moving and wanted to tackle this before we had a new house to soil!
As instructed, we stayed indoors for 3 days straight, didn't make any plans, and turned off the TV (well, except for a cheat hour here and there). We made some other adaptations to the "rules" like keeping our phones on and not having Josiah go fully bottomless. Instead, we bought Gerber training diapers to have a bit of modesty in the process, especially with Samantha around!
We started the first day off with a "bye bye" diaper announcement and showed Josiah stickers and M&Ms he would get if he had a successful trip to the potty. We had a pile of books to read and tried to feign our excitement over the whole ordeal. We had juice flowing to keep Josiah's bladder going.
Daily Notes:
Day 1 (Jan 1) was hard because it was a sudden adjustment for everyone. Without the TV humming in the background, we had to make up new activities to keep us busy. The kids loved that. Right from the start, Josiah had a number of accidents and we were all dejected. We obsessed over asking "do you have to go?" like every few minutes, which made us all crazy. To be safe, we laid "chucks pads" around the house, which Josiah sat on nearly all day for security. He looked like a sad, punished doggy. And he seemed reluctant to stand up, for fear of having to go to the bathroom. The day ended with disappointment and lots of laundry. And as ambitious as we were about going cold turkey, the diaper went on at night.
Day 2 (Jan 2) - major improvement! Something seemed to click and Josiah only had one accident in the evening. We gave lots of praise and positive reinforcement and we all felt like champs. We thought perhaps this 3 day system really worked? And Josiah seemed to love going to the potty and having tons of books read to him, even if he sat there forever at a time. During our down time, we had lots of fun and even had a dance party with the minions...look at what you can do when the TV is off!
Day 3 (Jan 3) - by this point, we felt exhausted and dirty, since we didn't dare leave the other with the two kids alone, not even to shower. It felt like the early newborn days again! Unfortunately, this was the day of regression. Right from the morning, Josiah had an accident and it kept happening. He just couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, which led to lots of screams and "it's ok!" half-smiles. Part of it was that we stopped being as vigilant and couldn't help but turn the TV back on at times. And he started abusing potty time to just read, so we had to move out the books. Finally - there was a big celebration over his #2 in the toilet...we were losing our minds! But other than that, we felt cheated by this 3-day method and bothered that Josiah didn't "get" it like other kids. And then we felt guilty that we were putting so much importance into it. He even said something like "I'm a bad boy because I have accident." So we were resigned to go back to diapers and try again later.
Day 4-8 (Jan 4-8) - we woke up thrilled that the weekend was over and we could escape to work! We were tempted to give up, but our nanny Maria decide to keep at it and do it her way! We were happy to relinquish control! She's way more risk-taking so just put on his underpants and went out. However, this meant a quick return home, run to the potty, and pee all over the floor. So, even she was dejected. However, she kept it at it all week...what a courageous woman! However, this meant running the laundry every day.
How it began:
We were dragging our feet for awhile since we admittedly loved the convenience that diapers gave us. Cost and stink aside, we had a routine and minimal disruption to our lives. But then, the fear of delaying Josiah's development and guilt of being negligent parents set in...so we decided to start off the year with the 3-day "wet weekend" that people have sworn to. Josiah just turned 3 1/2 so it felt like the right time. Finally, we were a month from moving and wanted to tackle this before we had a new house to soil!
As instructed, we stayed indoors for 3 days straight, didn't make any plans, and turned off the TV (well, except for a cheat hour here and there). We made some other adaptations to the "rules" like keeping our phones on and not having Josiah go fully bottomless. Instead, we bought Gerber training diapers to have a bit of modesty in the process, especially with Samantha around!
We started the first day off with a "bye bye" diaper announcement and showed Josiah stickers and M&Ms he would get if he had a successful trip to the potty. We had a pile of books to read and tried to feign our excitement over the whole ordeal. We had juice flowing to keep Josiah's bladder going.
Daily Notes:
Day 1 (Jan 1) was hard because it was a sudden adjustment for everyone. Without the TV humming in the background, we had to make up new activities to keep us busy. The kids loved that. Right from the start, Josiah had a number of accidents and we were all dejected. We obsessed over asking "do you have to go?" like every few minutes, which made us all crazy. To be safe, we laid "chucks pads" around the house, which Josiah sat on nearly all day for security. He looked like a sad, punished doggy. And he seemed reluctant to stand up, for fear of having to go to the bathroom. The day ended with disappointment and lots of laundry. And as ambitious as we were about going cold turkey, the diaper went on at night.
Day 2 (Jan 2) - major improvement! Something seemed to click and Josiah only had one accident in the evening. We gave lots of praise and positive reinforcement and we all felt like champs. We thought perhaps this 3 day system really worked? And Josiah seemed to love going to the potty and having tons of books read to him, even if he sat there forever at a time. During our down time, we had lots of fun and even had a dance party with the minions...look at what you can do when the TV is off!
Day 3 (Jan 3) - by this point, we felt exhausted and dirty, since we didn't dare leave the other with the two kids alone, not even to shower. It felt like the early newborn days again! Unfortunately, this was the day of regression. Right from the morning, Josiah had an accident and it kept happening. He just couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, which led to lots of screams and "it's ok!" half-smiles. Part of it was that we stopped being as vigilant and couldn't help but turn the TV back on at times. And he started abusing potty time to just read, so we had to move out the books. Finally - there was a big celebration over his #2 in the toilet...we were losing our minds! But other than that, we felt cheated by this 3-day method and bothered that Josiah didn't "get" it like other kids. And then we felt guilty that we were putting so much importance into it. He even said something like "I'm a bad boy because I have accident." So we were resigned to go back to diapers and try again later.
Day 4-8 (Jan 4-8) - we woke up thrilled that the weekend was over and we could escape to work! We were tempted to give up, but our nanny Maria decide to keep at it and do it her way! We were happy to relinquish control! She's way more risk-taking so just put on his underpants and went out. However, this meant a quick return home, run to the potty, and pee all over the floor. So, even she was dejected. However, she kept it at it all week...what a courageous woman! However, this meant running the laundry every day.
Day 9 (Jan 9) - we had a Eureka moment this day and moved the portable potty right to the living room! Sure, it made it too easy, but we felt that Josiah needed a win. And once he had a couple successful moments, he had a change in swagger. Another brilliant idea was buying minion underpants and telling him not to get them wet. This seemed to click for him, although I don't think he realized that HE was the one making them wet. Lastly, we brought out lots of lollipops and put them on display so he could envision his possible rewards. Problem was keeping them away from Samantha, who continued to enjoy this whole process immensely :)
Day 10 (Jan 10) - first day really going out of the house, so we were anxious all day at church. We brought a portable 'potette' to church and basically just forced him on the potty all day and isolated ourselves to the side room. Good news was that he had no accidents there! Of course, he had accidents when he got home since we got lax again. At this point, he started acting up and getting goofy in order to cheer us up. That got me sad that he could feel our disappointment. And then #2 happened in the potty and we went absolutely buck wild. In celebration, he exclaimed, "I'm proud of you because you and Daddy go poo like me!" Huh?
Week 2 - fast forward and we have now graduated to Josiah standing up to pee! This was actually an easier transition than we thought, but it was brought upon unintentionally. Basically, Maria found out the potty was leaking and had to desperately whisk Josiah to the adult toilet. It's since been SO much easier for him to go on his own. I think him being able to watch himself pee made him make the connection with his body and also gave him a sense of independence. He still rarely goes to the potty without us asking him numerous times, but we've found the key is to ask him every 45-60 minutes, turn off the TV, and bring him there before we leave the house and once we get to our destination. This structure has made it less stressful for all of us, and the accidents have been minimal. We even survived Chuck E Cheese and the shopping mall with this new routine. We've tried to limit the screaming (from all of us) as we desperately run to the potty and try to make this as calm as a ritual as possible. Another tip we received (thank you Anna) was to watch Daniel Tiger's potty episode. Josiah loves chanting the song, "When you have to go potty STOP and be on your way..."
It still hasn't "clicked" but I think we are on the road, albeit a long one! So, not quite the success story we were hoping for, but a good reminder to CHILL OUT, not force these developmental milestones, and not to put too much stock into these things happening a certain way. It's also a reminder that behavioral change takes so much effort, so not to get too taken by quick "fixes". And finally, as stressful as this experience has been, this is nothing in the scheme of things! Why do these lessons keep coming up in my life?
Week 2 - fast forward and we have now graduated to Josiah standing up to pee! This was actually an easier transition than we thought, but it was brought upon unintentionally. Basically, Maria found out the potty was leaking and had to desperately whisk Josiah to the adult toilet. It's since been SO much easier for him to go on his own. I think him being able to watch himself pee made him make the connection with his body and also gave him a sense of independence. He still rarely goes to the potty without us asking him numerous times, but we've found the key is to ask him every 45-60 minutes, turn off the TV, and bring him there before we leave the house and once we get to our destination. This structure has made it less stressful for all of us, and the accidents have been minimal. We even survived Chuck E Cheese and the shopping mall with this new routine. We've tried to limit the screaming (from all of us) as we desperately run to the potty and try to make this as calm as a ritual as possible. Another tip we received (thank you Anna) was to watch Daniel Tiger's potty episode. Josiah loves chanting the song, "When you have to go potty STOP and be on your way..."
It still hasn't "clicked" but I think we are on the road, albeit a long one! So, not quite the success story we were hoping for, but a good reminder to CHILL OUT, not force these developmental milestones, and not to put too much stock into these things happening a certain way. It's also a reminder that behavioral change takes so much effort, so not to get too taken by quick "fixes". And finally, as stressful as this experience has been, this is nothing in the scheme of things! Why do these lessons keep coming up in my life?
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