Fast forward to now, I have a bonafide toddler on my hands!
These past 12 months have been quite a journey marked by constant transitions...some dark periods, and many light and joyful ones too. Most of all, it's been a life-changing experience being a mother, yet I know I have only grazed the surface of what that even means. What I do know is that it is a privilege to be Josiah's mom, even though it certainly isn't always easy.
Let's just say that Josiah has become one active and sassy kid. It's so hard to get his attention these days, even though we shout his name and make all kinds of noises. The only thing that seems to work right now are when I make monkey noises - yup, losing my dignity slowly but surely. He needs to touch (aka mess up) everything in sight, and shrieks when we take things away from him. He's pretty rough, particularly with me, and will slap and kick often. He still gets fixated by our faces, especially mouths, and will poke, prod, and scratch...hard! We speak sternly to him and are trying to reinforce "gentle", which sometimes gets him really upset and pouty. We try to hold our ground, but it's the funniest thing to watch him transform into a "prune-face".
His increasing independence has made bedtime a real challenge these days. He flails his body when we lower him into the crib and immediately bursts into tears. Watching him standing in his crib, tossing his dolls and pacifiers out of the crib and desperately crying out for us is so heart-breaking. Or sometimes, he changes his strategy and starts tossing his loveys and pacis out of the crib. One way or another, one of us usually caves and of course, our little con artist immediately starts smiling once we re-enter the room! It's clear who is in charge here. Thankfully, once he's down, he still sleeps a good stretch and we find ourselves waking up to his rowdy babbles and laughs the next morning.
Josiah's grins and laughs are the cutest. These days, whenever Josiah hears us heartily laughing, he joins in. He is still generally shy and stoic when he first sees people, but quickly gets into his giggly, flirty self once warmed up. Then he starts with his tricks - waving "bye bye", clapping "yay", and giving high-fives. While we are thrilled to see this progress, he isn't very keen on learning any other signs. I keep trying to teach him "more" and "milk", but he'll just slap my hand away or give me a stare like I'm crazy. Actually, he tends to give me that look of annoyance a lot...seriously, sometimes I think we have a Lois-Stewie thing going on :(
So many little idiosyncracies to note, but not enough time to mention them all. Through these past 12 months of motherhood "boot camp", I've tried to record as many observations and emotions throughout to track how much he's grown...and more profoundly, how we've grown! Shaggy and I often say to each other, "Can you believe we have a kid?". We are reminded daily of how we fall short as people and as parents, yet how God's grace gives us strength and joy to sustain us. And He will just keep stretching us! As hard as this year has been, I am sure I'll be looking back in a few years thinking how easy things were...for now, I'll just keep taking things one (baby) step at a time and enjoy the process.
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